At what point should we break up?

Send your question to [email protected] (or use this form).

Dear Meredith,

My boyfriend (25) and I (23) have been together for a little over two years. We met during my senior year of college and grew a lot closer during the pandemic because we lived close to one another. Now that I am living abroad, we've been long-distance for about seven months. It's been great and we've been able to manage it, but as I think about our future, I know that I want to try living somewhere new, and that he is planning to accept a new job in the same town he's currently in.

We love each other and care about one another deeply, but we both agree that at this age, we should be prioritizing our interests and careers. I am struggling to figure out whether to make the most of a long-distance relationship or to take this as a sign that we should go our separate ways. I love my boyfriend, but long distance is hard, and I am feeling really uncertain about what is the right decision in the long run. Thank you!

Some will tell you to break up now, but you don't have to.

It sounds like you'll end the relationship – or take a long break – whenever you hit a wall with the distance. If you're still enjoying what you have, take your time. Let everything run its course.

The good news is, you both understand why this breakup could happen. You're clear about the work that goes into long-distance; you also know that you love each other and still have a deep connection. You can communicate about how all of this feels as it continues. If there's a breakup, you won't have to ask why. It's all about age, priorities, and experience.

You can also talk to him about checking in more often to see how you're both doing with the status quo. You can ask, "How does it feel to still be together now?" Figure this out as a team.

There's a version of this where you remain together, or stay connected enough that whatever break you take is only temporary. It's OK to be open to all possibilities. You don't have to figure it out today.

– Meredith

Readers? End it now? Can they just see how it goes?