Chat next week. (I'm sorry. I have an appointment.)
Meredith, I am a 45 and divorced. I've always been in love with my best friend.
We texted for years from different places, but never took it further. Now that I'm a single mom, we been texting a lot. One day in November we got together, had a few drinks, and had a blast talking about good old days. We started kissing and one thing led to another.
Am I wrong? Was I a fool? Yes, but at that time it felt so right. He's married, but he says he has always been in love with me. Either I was married or involved or he was married. We could never get to each other while single.
I have never felt this way for anyone. He lives across the state and has a stressful job. I’m getting a graduate degree and busy with important internships. He knows how I feel, but I feel like he just keeps me on the shelf as a doll.
I told him how I felt. We haven't been together since that one time in November. Do I move on? I am so dedicated to my career, but I’ve also waited for him for so long. Meredith, am I doing a Samson and Delilah sequel in my own time, where I'm going to be betrayed?
Do I continue to see where this goes because I know we love each other?
Thanks for listening.
"We could never get to each other while single."
Well, he's not single, so that's still a problem.
You have so much going on, so many exciting things to think about. You say he's your best friend, but right now he’s a distraction from all of the positive parts of your life.
I do think it’s time to move on and to end things on your terms. He's married, so this doesn’t work. He can't be a supportive, platonic friend, which means ... this doesn’t work. You feel like he's put you on a shelf. That means this isn't working.
You can call it off and tell him not to contact you. You can set all the boundaries.
This doesn't have to be biblical or epic; it's just a decision that's for the best.
"I've also waited for him for so long."
That's the reason to leave, not stay, by the way. Let the married man be married, and focus on everyone in your life – including kids, friends, teachers, colleagues, etc. – who invest in you and make your life more interesting. People who don't make you wait.
Readers? Wait it out? Samson?