A holiday update

Just one update from a summer letter writer who was trying to figure out sparks.

This person could use a breakup pep talk, and a reminder about what spark really is – or isn’t.

Hi Meredith,

This is an update on the sparks letter in May. The guy and I later reconnected. We became a couple and dated for a few months. I wanted to plan a trip to see my family in another state – an aunt and uncle for a birthday celebration. I paid for the plane tickets, and I thought we were fine.

Two days before the trip, he broke up with me. It wasn't clear the reasons. I tried to get my money back for the plane tickets, I couldn't get a refund. Due to not getting the refund, I couldn't go to the trip. The plan was, he was going to get a hotel and pay for the food. He canceled the hotel before we broke up in order to get a refund.

I am sad over the breakup. I feel bad for letting my family down. Do you have any advice on how to deal with this breakup? I miss him.

– Sparked

My thought – this wasn't about sparks, just about complicated travel plans and bad timing. There's a lesson here about continuing to date – and about getting refundable tickets.

Other former letter writers: tell us how it all worked out – or didn’t? Did our advice help? Email [email protected] with update in the subject line.

If you’re home today thinking of your own dating, relationship, marriage, or single problem, write it down and submit your letter to [email protected] or just use this form.

- Meredith