He does yard work for me. Now we’re sexting.

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I am a 69-year-old woman who has been flirting and sexting with a 34-year-old man. He has done yard work for me and other favors that I pay him for. He broached the subject of sex. I was quite taken aback and resisted his gentle advances for some time. The truth is I like him a lot. He is funny and warm and listens to me – as my husband doesn't. He is persistent.

I have had a mastectomy and told him what this looks like, this and he has suggested we blindfold each other the first time we have sex. I can't have him at my house because of my husband – and he has a live-in girlfriend. Am I crazy or just needy? He tells me he is a fun loving guy who likes to get high and have sex, but I feel a deeper connection. What do you think?

– Needy?


He likes to have fun. You're looking for more than that.

It sounds like you want attention, connection, and maybe more. If you pursue a relationship with this man – who has a girlfriend! – you might be setting yourself up for a lot of confusion and pain.

I feel like I've been asking this next question a lot lately (many people out there seem to be considering options outside of their exclusive relationships). Can you deal with the relationship you're in before you see what else is out there? You mentioned your husband as an afterthought, like a piece of furniture that's in the way. Do you want to remain married?

I can't tell you what to do, and I know you're already building something with this man. Maybe you can stop it before it gets too far, or maybe you’ve already made a decision to have this experience. All I can say is, think about what will be left when it's over. Consider whether you'd be better off spending this energy on making choices about your marriage and the rest of your life.

– Meredith

Readers? Pursue this? How can she protect herself from getting hurt?