Missing someone I’ve never met

What's on your mind about your dating/married/love life?? It's time to ask your own question. Send it to [email protected] or fill out this form.

I'm an 85-year-old with a younger man. We live in different states, we met on Instagram, and after just a few conversations, we fell in love. He has never been able to come to meet me. Something came up each time. Still, he promised he wants us to be together and then start a business.

But now he is accepting a job that will take him away even more. I am so so torn because I really love him, and he says our age difference does not matter to him. I am praying for God to give me peace in this relationship. I truly love him, and I feel that he loves me, but his internet is always going out, so it's hard to talk. I know I have cried a river because of missing him so much. I want to marry him and he has asked me, but he has never has met me in person. I'm very concerned.

- Torn

We had a similar letter in November from a person who'd fallen for a man who couldn't show up and had mysterious issues with his job.

Now you're coming to me with a story about a man who won’t show up ... and wants to start a business. I see a field of red flags.

I don't think it'll be long before this man tells you that he could see you, if only you could help him – financially – with the next steps. New suitors should not be asking to start a business with you or demanding access to your money. No exceptions.

Protect yourself – your heart and your resources – and let this man go. If he can't see you, that's your answer. He can't deliver on his promises.

Even if he's telling the truth and he is in some place with no internet (or transportation, or coffee shop, or ... honesty, where is he?), he is still not the man for you! You’d like real company. He's been so out of reach that you've been praying for peace.

Cut all communication. Be sad about it, but keep busy. Are there safe activities for seniors in you area? Online clubs where people can gather on Zoom? Readings? Games? That's where you might meet someone who you can continue to show up, and possibly in person.

– Meredith

Readers? The loss of this will be sad, even if this man had bad intentions. How do you get over someone who hasn't shown up, when it felt like there was hope?